How can one be both bored and overwhelmed at the same time? Bored by the mundaneness of it all, yet with constant anxiety over decisions made quickly and frustrated by questions that I gave a lack-luster response. It's only September, only the start of "cold and flu season" and I am already dreading the sick visits. In all honesty, there is little I can blame on the public - there is often a history of having antibiotics prescribed to them quickly and repeatedly. Plus, everyone and their mother thinks green nasal discharge = antibiotics. Oh wait, and did I forget to mention that we have to catch the URI before it "moves into [my] chest"?!
4 years of college. 4 years of medical school. 3 years of residency. Countless hours spent studying and in class. Missed commitments. Multiple sacrifices. So if I become a bit grouchy because all I am seeing is upper respiratory infections, I'm allowed, right? I feel as if my brain is literally atrophying with each mind-numbing encounter.
That sounds terrible - and yet I don't mean to sound terrible. I am not a terrible person. I went into medicine to Help People. Yet medicine is terrifying. There is little respect. I am argued with on a regular basis (really? Amoxicillin doesn't work for you? Have you considered the fact that it's likely a VIRAL infection?!)
Argh. It's not what I thought it would be.
Damn you, Dr. Quinn. You offered me an elusive dream.
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